Behold the floppy, a miracle of post-modern technology! Does your computer still have a floppy drive? Count yourself among the lucky!Why? Thousands of reasons! Do you have an ultralight lifestyle? Are you a maximalist? Are your computing needs sufficiently sparse to fit your entire home directory into less than a megabyte and a half?
If so, then you too can use floppies to back up your personal files! And if you are daring, you could even run your entire system with a floppy as the home directory. Yank that floppy out, and bingo! your precious data are safe and secure!
Even better, with two machines with floppy drives, you can synchronize systems in a fraction of the time it takes to string cables, set up network interfaces, configure wireless keys, install a networking protocol, configure a server and client, get them handshaking, manage groups and permissions, and then synchronize. Floppies save you time!
Floppies are cheap! Chances are, someone will give you a floppy — how many times has someone given you a USB drive that didn’t include some sort of blatant advertisement, or preinstalled crapware? No crapware on floppies!
And floppies are versatile too! You’re not limited to using an out-of-date, obsolete, archaic filesystem with floppies. You can use ext2, ext3, ext4 and even the newest, coolest filesystems on the block! Don’t want journaling? With floppies, you can skip journaling altogether!
Floppies are disposable, and sometimes even recyclable! Tired of your floppy? Make a clone of your floppy, and move it to a new one in seconds! You can decorate a floppy with colored markers! You can slather it with stickers — but not the puffy ones!
Floppies are available in thousands of colors, dozens of styles and themes. If you’re lucky, you may even find — gasp! — the holy grail of floppies: the transparent floppy!
Floppies are universal! You don’t need a proprietary interface or a conversion cable or a rubberized palm guard to use a floppy. Do you have a floppy drive? Congratulations: You can use floppies!
Are you a Linux guru? Do you want to be a Linux guru? You’ll dazzle them at your Linux guru job interview by mentioning that you always install grub to a floppy, so your computer is unbootable without it. It’s like a primitive boot lock!
And don’t forget, you can still install one of the greatest operating systems in the world … with only floppies! That’s right, you can get your system online and surfing the Web with only a few floppies and an hour or two of time. It’s magic!
Yes, there’s still plenty of use for floppies. Don’t let angst-ridden teenage geek wannabes and turtlenecked pseudo-minimalist artsy-snob-types tell you otherwise: If you’re not using floppies, you’re just not cool!
Paid for by the Committee to Re-Elect Floppies.